People often move abroad (me including) maybe even unconsciously looking for paradise.
Beautiful, white sandy beaches; as well as gorgeous sunsets over the lush jungle vegetation in a warm tropical country are often refered to as paradise.
I’m member of a couple online groups where people that plan on moving abroad often discuss their plans and dreams: young adventurous students, families with kids and retires.Phrases like “I’m so fed up with everything” , “can’t wait to leave” got me thinking. As if that would bring the change they need in their life ?
They dream of the new life, the start on a fresh new page in the brightest colors.
They’ll be arriving at the new destination with those big dreams and full of energy. Soon they will realize though that some of these dreams were never fit for reality. And reality is going to catch up!
There will be factors emerging that weren’t included in the calculations. Facts that will force you to change your strategy. Sleeping in a tent on an island looses its appeal pretty fast when you get eaten by sandflies and mosquitos, spiders in all sizes crawling over you, and sleep won’t come to you because it’s either hot and humid or chilly and wet and loud because one of those tropical rainstorms pours merciless on your tent.
Life is going to happen -the good and the bad of it. Like robberies, accidents, or hurricanes.
Problems that are just typical for that country or could have just happened anywhere else also.
When we first arrived in this country, 14 years ago, we spent some time in a conservative Mennonite setting. And there was this preacher talking deep about life. He was comparing drastic changes -especially those with the wish of improvements to your current situation – with a cookie! The kind of cookies their women were baking by the buckets full; coated with different icings.
The icing would be the most delicious, eye-catching part of the cookie and especially children would like to eat it off first. What is left is the dry, naked cookie. One of the best comparisons I’ve ever heard about somebody’s dreams in relation to reality .. the dry, naked, harsh reality.
Every year I see my Mango tree bloom I think about the same.
They flower so abundantly. But of all the many blossoms only a small percentage develops into fruit. There will be rain at the wrong time, causing some to rot before they ever develop into fruit. Heavy storms taking down some more. In the end only the ones that are meant to be will be . Just like with our dreams.
Another aspect is sometimes people leaving their home country are in fact just trying to escape themselves. Thinking this might wipe their slate clean and nobody knows them there. No matter what your location you will find yourself eventually and realize what and who you really are.
I’ve seen many people come and go during those 14 years. Some of them I had been really close to and seeing them leave made me sad. It was for various reasons and each case I could understand. There might be conditions occuring after 10-15 years that could have never been foreseen. Getting older and all that. Health problems occur and required medical treatment is not available. Financial reasons. Being victim of a robbery and not feeling safe anymore. Many reasons.
So if you’re considering a move like that never burn your bridges. Keep relationships with friends and family even from abroad. It is very considerable to develop new ones where you live ; but still keep maintaining the old ones. I found true friends in this country that became my family here. Sharing their knowledge (which is very needed for foreigners) and including me in their lives. Inviting me to celebrations where I learn about their culture, food and so much more. They are an indispensable part of my life .. in fact I couldn’t imagine life without them.
And then there are also those places that come so very close to paradise. Like staying on a private island.
Or just being surrounded by untouched jungle with gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. All of the last mentioned is why I am still here.